Assume that you and I are total strangers. What are the most important things I need to know about you and your work?

A. The most important thing to know is that my vampires and the setting I place them in are both rather unique. The vampires are inspired by the Vetala of Hindu myth and, if I’m not wrong, Bentley Little is the only other Western horror writer who has used an explicitly Asian vampire in his fiction – the Chinese cup hu girngsi. Regarding the setting, the First World War has been very sparsely used and even then the Western Front tends to be the focus. I used this in the first novel but in the second I moved to London and in the third, the action takes place during the last days of the Gallipoli campaign. It was important to me, when using this setting for the series, to depict more than one of the theatres of war to give the reader a real sense of place and history.

Having read The Eyes of the Dead, I was struck by how well you evoke the bleakness and horror of war, and how relentless the horrors were for all involved.  The battlefield does indeed make the perfect playground for the Vetala.  On one level, the novel is a straightforward tale of guns and bombs and vampires.  On another, I interpreted the Vetala as allegorical creatures symbolizing humankind’s capacity for immense cruelty and brutality when thrown into extreme situations such as war.  Was this what you hoped readers to take from the story?  Was it foremost in your mind when writing it, or did it evolve with the storyline?  And how comfortable are you with readers projecting their own interpretations on your work?

I’m pleased to hear that the novel worked on more than one level for you as I do keep being told it is a literary work – it’s satisfying to know people feel that way about it as I wrote expecting to achieve no more than pulp horror at the time.

I was concerned to portray the utter grimness of the war because I felt it was almost my duty to after having read the personal accounts of the men and women who lived through the conflict. They went through hell in a way few of us have ever experienced and I wanted to portray that as sincerely as I could, just to show basic respect if nothing else.The Vetala were certainly intended as a reflection of humanity, a theme I build upon as the books progress. The writing of The Eyes of the Dead took place between June 2006 right up until the night of publication in May last year so I would say the Vetala evolved significantly over that long period of time, from being more traditional vampires in their first incarnation to something more esoteric and nightmarish as well as bitterly human in the end. If a reader takes away a moral message from the book I’m as happy as if they take away the feeling of having read a good and effective horror story. I’m as concerned with aesthetics and effect as I am underlying messages in the text. This is why I’m also happy that people make their own interpretations as I think it’s interesting to hear how different people find their own points of identification. Also, that’s part of the joy of reading – interacting with the story, the characters, the language and finding something to take away from the experience when it is over – so it’s not for me to say whether someone is right or wrong. Once the writer sets down their pen, the story is out of their hands and it’s up to the readers to decide what you are talking about.

We both have a story in Phobophobia, a horror anthology from Dark Continents Publishing.  Tell me a bit about how you came to be involved in this anthology and about the genesis of your contribution, “P is for Pteranophobia”.

I became involved with the anthology through being in a state of extreme sobriety whilst having the pleasure of acquainting myself with the mellifluous Dean Drinkel and the adroit Adrian Chamberlin. Dean asked to see the then-unpublished draft of The Eyes of the Dead and on the strength of that he was kind enough to invite me to contribute. I then did some research on the more peculiar phobias out there and Pteronophobia, a fear of feathers, was one that I thought would be a challenge to make into something disturbing. I then spent a few nights re-reading Lovecraft’s The Rats in the Walls and Robert Howard’s Pigeons from Hell to get an idea of the kind of tone that I wanted to set and took it from there. I’m very pleased with the final result and the quality of the anthology that it is a part of.

Independent publishing vs. traditional publishing – care to weigh in on the debate?  If one of the big six publishers approached you tomorrow with the offer of a publishing contract, would you accept it?

Firstly I think it’s erroneous to set the debate up as independent publishing vs traditional publishing. This is a dichotomy that the larger publishers have created because they want this to be seen as a war much in the same way as the music and film industry have done with the growth of readily-available digital media. Personally I don’t see it on their terms. I think self-publishing is fast becoming one of the best options for a writer who is starting out. Chances of getting published through them were slim when I started out back in 2006 and now I think the gates are pretty much shut altogether unless you are very, very lucky or already established in some regard. In this respect, I think small presses are going to become much more important and powerful because they are better able to adapt and change and work on a face-to-face basis with their client – I can cite my own experience with Dark Continents Publishing in that respect. Dean and Adrian have been excellent to work with as editor and liaison respectively.

Before that my only experience of publishing was being out alone in the wilderness that so many writers are familiar with, which when you’ve been getting incredibly positive feedback about your work from day one becomes incredibly galling and depressing. I think there’s quite a sick irony in the fact that self-published writers would get more respect from some of the major publishing flagwavers if we were still spiralling around in purgatory trying to get traditionally published whereas now I have achievements such as – two critically-acclaimed books; publication in Phobophobia and being accepted into the Horror For Good anthology alongside luminaries like Ramsey Campbell, Jack Ketchum and F. Paul Wilson (which is still mind-blowing for me) – and I would likely have none of this if I had not gone down this road. Now some might say it’s because I’m one of the few good self-published writers out there and I’m getting my just rewards and the rest are all churning out dreck etc. I have to disagree – there’s not a few, there’s a lot of talent out there and I’m proud to be part of such a mutually supportive community of creative individuals. I promise I will not now quote from brave new world and make you all sick.

To cut a short story long, this is why if a large publisher came to me with anything less than life-changing money, I wouldn’t take it. It’s almost five years since the Kindle was released and they are refusing to adapt and becoming increasingly entrenched to the point that their complaints now sound like a stuck record. I just don’t think they would have my best business interests at heart right now.

LINKS:
http://www.facebook.com/l/BAQGXR-yNAQG_11qjGJRATHIZXvZy8CPqF-fpgxdsIVwtLw/www.gryeates.co.uk
http://www.facebook.com/gryeates666
http://www.facebook.com/l/_AQGVkWrSAQGh-_RdysXiiz5X4yyGzmaz3zeOa2dWfKDG8Q/www.twitter.com/_gryeates_
http://www.facebook.com/l/eAQEYXtdSAQEZ7e5Iyb478CKfpx760DcmQj6ZK18nuysaQQ/plus.google.com/111096333719944555031

THE EYES OF THE DEAD
http://www.facebook.com/l/KAQHa0bJlAQGCeqS9EpBxtpOzsidOYsklHYd7jfs2CEzcMw/http:// http://www.facebook.com/l/nAQF7Sqz2AQEcQ4D8zHkgQVszNM5F0odWo4tnumdWxDFPJg/www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0052BPGTM
http://www.facebook.com/l/KAQHa0bJlAQGCeqS9EpBxtpOzsidOYsklHYd7jfs2CEzcMw/http:// http://www.facebook.com/l/PAQEnrFNdAQEeCAB4LPH3DzDC-pp3bZ2ytRKapn3p64Nc9g/www.amazon.com/dp/B0052BPGTM

SHAPES IN THE MIST
http://www.facebook.com/l/lAQGexNkUAQGPg3ngO9gdReQDQOi1GwEuqXjurenj5J1bjQ/www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005IE7VX2
http://www.facebook.com/l/-AQH2bUa2AQEkTJKV2BpKgVCz5le4wMxl3UR5hx3XbApVTQ/www.amazon.com/dp/B005IE7VX2

Nerine Dorman hosts Matthew Tait, the author of Slander Hall, where they talk about Matthew’s interest in cults that are involved in brainwashing.

AJ Brown’s guest post on the Dark Continents Publishing blog is about the greatest common denominator – fear.  More specifically, the fear of failure.  Even more specifically, the fear of failing as a writer.

Go Indie takes a recent conversation thread from Facebook and uses it to introduce some of its new members.  Well, yes, I am one of them, but the real reason for listing this post in my weekly round up is to show how these kinds of blogs and groups really can work to help spread the word and share the love about your work; as a result of joining the group, and reading LA Sherman’s intriguing introduction, I purchased her e-book “Bengali Girls Don’t”.  It promises to be an interesting and well-written read.  I also await with great interest the publication of Tasha Turner’s novel based on Jewish vampire mythology; the vampire myth exists in many variations across many different countries and cultures, so it’s surprising that, given the current fascination with vampires inspired by Twilight and True Blood, more writers aren’t delving into that rich cultural heritage to bring readers a fresh take on the genre.

Want to know more about L.A.Sherman and her novel “Bengali Girls Don’t”?  This interview with the author on G.R. Yeates’ blog is a great place to start.

Courtesy of a SuperNOVA friend, there is this extraordinary art form that is new to me.  I have a small pile of books that our dog stole off the bookshelf and chewed, and that I haven’t yet been able to bring myself to throw out.  Now, if only I was visually artistic and had a sharp enough knife…

Image from www.visualnews.com

Joe Konrath.  Like he needs a shout out on my itty bitty blog.  Here he tells us straight what he thinks of Amazon.

With thanks to Glenda Larke, this article on how contraception has changed and continues to change the world has nothing to do with books and writing and a lot to do with everything else.  It might be the single most important article you read all year.

I was at the library the other day, making use of its excellent free computer use service, when a young woman next to me leaned over and said, “Excuse me – what’s another word for ‘lots’ or ‘many’?”

Why yes, I thought, as a matter of fact, I am a walking thesaurus, thanks for asking.  Instead of throwing out a few synonyms, I got up from my chair, came around to her PC, and took a look at the document she was working on.

No need to thank me - it's all in a day's work for the Masked Editor.

“Hmmm. ‘Many’ works fine in this sentence,” I said, “but you’ll want to change a few other things.” My fingers began to fly over the keyboard, changing the tense here, the punctuation there, the spelling somewhere else.  The document appeared to be a creative approach to writing a CV, told as a narrative in third person rather than in dry bullet points.  Whether it would succeed in its aim, I don’t know, but I was determined to ensure that I had done my part (even although I hadn’t actually been invited to play a part at all).  She wasn’t doing too badly considering that English was her second language (at least, that was what I inferred from her accent and the information given in the text), but still, it could be improved…

Suddenly realising that I might have overstepped some bounds of propriety, I completed my edits, gave her a slightly embarrassed smile, and returned to my seat.  A few minutes later, she had another question.

“Umm…it needs to be longer.”

“Longer?”

“Yes.  It has to be at least 300 words long.  I’ve only got 220 words.”

I was up and over on her side of the desk like a shot.  “Let’s see – you could expand on this part here.”  I tapped the screen.  “It says you had trouble when you went to Perth.  What kind of trouble?”

“Well, my family didn’t really want me to go…”  She trailed off.  I could see from the timer in the corner of the screen that she only had a few minutes to go before her free hour of PC time would be up and the computer would shut down.  There was no time for consultation; I cracked my knuckles, elbowed her out of the way, and set about telling her life story.

“Your family didn’t really want you to go,” I said, typing away furiously, “but when they saw how passionate you were about your dream of becoming the Best Pharmacist in the World, they relented and sent you on your way with their tearful blessings.   Of course, the reader knows about your passion, because back here,” – I pointed out an earlier part in the text – “we’re going to tell them about the chemistry set you got for Christmas…no, not Christmas, you’re Muslim, silly me…that your rich uncle in America sent you when you were seven…”

Her computer timed out, and with a smile and a word of thanks, she took the USB stick on which the story had been saved and departed.  I returned to my seat, secure in the belief that I had done at least one good deed that day, and she returned to her family, probably to tell them about the crazy lady in the library who tried to write her homework project for her.

All referrals to a good therapist gratefully received…

Nerine Dorman hosts a guest blog from Autumn Christian.   Only 22 years old, and so, so talented, even Autumn’s blog posts are works of art.  Be sure to check out her short story collection, A Gentle Hell, on Amazon.

“The publishers that survive and thrive will likely be smaller specialized publishers who can do for authors what authors cannot or will not do for themselves. “ Hobbes End Publishing interviews the founder of Smashwords, Mark Coker. 

I should just post a link to Chuck Wendig’s blog every week and be done with it – another inimicable post from a Terrible Mind detailing 25 ways in which writers are not entirely sane (or words to that effect).

Suzanne Robb posts Part 2 of the Zombie Manifesto on “Bricks of the Dead”.  My favourite part of the Zombie Manifesto is the discussion thread, where Suzanne has to step in and separate a couple of earnest participants about to start a flame war -
“What you need to factor in, is that this is fiction, the “doctor” does not really exist, because in reality no one studies this.”
Although don’t be too surprised if somebody soon writes their PhD thesis on Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.

“I’m not so sure it is wise to underestimate the boundless idiocy of the unobserved reading public.”  So says Antonia Senior in this article in The Guardian which sneers at the popularity of “downmarket” genre fiction e-books.  Them’s fightin’ words!

“Suspend Your Disbelief ” is another blog that routinely piques my interest.  Carolyn J. Rose’s post on the chemistry between her two fictional characters (and between her and her husband) made me both want to read the book, despite not  being typically drawn to romance novels, and never want to attempt writing romance myself, because it all sounds way too hard.

Rebecca Besser gives friends, family and fans concrete suggestions on how to support your favourite starving author that go beyond the obvious “Buy My Book!”.

One writer bemoaned the fact that, although he is in person a pleasant and laid-back fellow, his ‘extreme’ writing sees him ostracised from some circles.  Another recently took offense (and rightly so) because someone assumed that, as a horror writer, his parenting skills must therefore be lacking.  Autumn Christian talks about the dissonance between who she appears to be and what she writes about in her recent guest post, “Some difficulties in being a female horror writer”.

I see it as being an occupational hazard; it’s a bit like being an actor and having people frequently confuse you with the characters that you play.  If you’re a superstar like Stephen King, you can (or more likely have to) just roll with it, have a little fun with it, even.  Live in some gothic-looking mansion with bats and spider webs all over your front gate and take cameo roles in TV shows as the creepy guy whose job it is to ‘disappear’ dead bodies.

For the rest of us, it’s not so simple.  I’d particularly like to invite my friends who are erotica writers into this discussion, because I suspect they have it even worse than the horror writers.  All the erotica writers I know write under pseudonyms.  One of them, when she set up her erotica blog, asked me, please, please, PLEASE don’t ‘out ‘her real name, because she didn’t want the people in her town to find out (don’t worry, your secret is safe with me).  Sex and death, the bookends of life, the two biggest human taboos.  Because isn’t that what horror writing is really all about, death and our response to its inevitability?

The thing is, dear readers, that writers are no more or less weird than the rest of the world, regardless of what Chuck Wendig says.  And we don’t live out the fictions we commit to the page. Not all erotica writers spend their leisure time chained to the walls of a BDSM dungeon, participating in orgies or playing Adult Musical Chairs.  Some might, but not all.  Horror writers are not all itching to take to you with a blunt chainsaw and a flamethrower (some might, but not all…).

In fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret; most of us are big wusses, and are still afraid of the monster under the bed (it’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real…).  That’s the real reason why we write horror; not to revel in it or glorify it, but as a way to cope with our deep-seated terrors.

So next time someone says, “I’m a horror writer,” don’t sidle away.  Don’t shun him or her.  What they really need is, not your distrust and condemnation, but a nice cup of tea and a hug.

Flowers and chocolates won't go astray, either.

Books of the Dead Press talk about the publisher/author relationship.  Warning: if you’re a small press publisher and have even the slightest propensity for depression, don’t read this.

I like, in a misogynistic kind of way, to have my blind acceptance of the world challenged, which this post by Chesya Burke does with grace and intelligence.  Second warning: if you identify yourself as white, you enjoy the TV series “The Walking Dead”, and you’re prone to feelings of guilt, then don’t read this one either.

Women, children, old people and persons of colour, in the back.

Nerine Dorman lets another writer/editor into her world.  And that would be – me!

The Darkness and Dismay blogfest continues with AJ Brown’s interview with Nerine Dorman.

Our favourite Kiwi, John Irvine, gets personal on Suzanne Robb’s blog.

The Trollking reviews Blood and Fire. “This is a must for vampire-rocker groupies.”

Lovecraft e-zine have an enticing new subscriber deal for Kindle and Nook owners.  Hope you’re not too late already…

AJ Brown lets you know exactly what you’re in for when you purchase Suzanne Robb’s Were-wolves, Apocalypses, and Genetic Mutations, Oh My!

This one went straight to the top of my “You learn things every day” list – the behind-the-scenes story from Phoenix Sullivan on the KDP Select programme and how it really works to promote participants’ titles.

Now, never let it said that I was afraid to jump onto a perfectly good-looking (if somewhat overcrowded) bandwagon.

Let’s look at the controversy over self-publishing.  Buoyed by the success of self-publishing giants such as Amanda Hocking and Joe Konrath (“Who?” I can hear you non-industry people saying), and with dollar signs in their eyes, inexperienced writers are flooding the e-book market with low-quality books that are poorly proofread and have badly designed covers.  They’re practically giving away their books at 99 cents each, or actually giving them away for free.

“They’re ruining it for the rest of us!” is the common catch-cry amongst traditionally published authors.  “They’re pricing their work too low because it’s crap, and making it harder for real writers to sell their work at a realistic price.  They’re deluded if they think they’re going to get rich doing this!  Only a very favoured few will make it, and the rest of us will be starving in our garrets!”

So…situation normal, then.

Before self-publishing, very few writers were able to make a living from their work.  Most wrote for years for little or no recompense, and if they were lucky enough to sign a contract with a publisher, they still had to hang onto their day jobs.  Now, in the middle of the self-publishing boom – same thing, except it’s shaping up to be one massive publisher/retailer (Amazon) instead of many small ones.  The outcome for writers is the same.

There has always been, with most products, a big variation in quality, and that quality is reflected in the price.  If we’re going to talk about an e-book purely as a commodity, then it’s no different from, say, clothing.  If I had a thousand dollars to spend on clothes, I could go out and buy a whole lot of cheap mass-produced crap that will fall apart inside a couple of months, or I could spend a thousand dollars on one high-quality designer garment, or I could (and probably would) strike some kind of happy medium between the two extremes.  Maybe I can’t even tell the difference between good quality and crap, so I’m perfectly happy with the cheap stuff.  Maybe I wouldn’t be caught dead in anything that cost less than $500.  Maybe I choose to make a principled stand, and only purchase clothes from small local artisans who take pride in their work.  The choices are there to keep the industry robust and to serve the needs of the customers.  I don’t hear Dior or Versace bitching about the crazy cat lady down the street who crochets tea cosy hats and gives them away down at the local markets on a Sunday.  Although they probably would complain if they were all forced into the one great big shop and had to set up their stall next to Crazy Cat Lady… (hmm… methinks I have spotted a flaw in my logic…)

But if David Beckham wears a tea cosy hat...well, that's alright, then.

The anxiety over self-publishing seems to be confined to industry professionals – writers, publishers and retailers.  The general reading public seems to not notice or not care, except to say, “Hey, isn’t this e-book thing a great idea?  All these books in one little device, and for a fraction of the cost of a print book – I can afford to buy and read so much more now!”  Or else they’ll say, “E-book reader?  What is this strange and wondrous device?!?”  I know this because whenever I talk to someone outside the industry about it, their eyes glaze over and they start looking for the nearest escape route (or maybe it’s just me).

“But how is the general book-buying public able to tell the difference between the cream and the crap without the publishers to act as gatekeepers?” is the other cry going up from the ramparts.  “We all know those five-star reviews are written by the authors’ friends and family, so you can’t trust the reviews.”

“Don’t worry about it,” respond some writers (usually the self-published ones).  “The cream will always rise to the top.  Just make sure you’re the cream.”

Well… yes and no.  I’m not entirely convinced that the general book-buying public is always able to tell the difference between good writing and not-so-good writing (no offence, guys).  Let’s take the ridiculously successful Twilight franchise as an example (not self-published, I know, but bear with me here).  Twilight is so popular, middle-aged women are tattooing images and quotations from the series on their bodies.  But most writers I know loathe Twilight, citing its wooden prose and its promotion of unhealthy relationships.

I'm not gonna lie, I would sell a kidney for this kind of fan loyalty.

And yet there’s the tattoo thing.  And the “Stephenie Meyer going to bed every night on a mountain of money” thing.  I don’t think it’s the quality of the writing that makes a book rise to the top.  Once you get the mechanics of grammar, punctuation, spelling and clarity out of the way (and there’s room to take liberties even with those – just ask e e cummings), then quality becomes subjective.  I think that, in today’s market, a best-selling novel is produced from one part talent, one part luck, one part good marketing and seven parts tapping into the zeitgeist.

And all of that is strangely comforting to me.   If it’s largely down to luck and uncanny timing, and those things are beyond my control, then there’s hope for me yet.  Or maybe there’s none.  Either way, all there is left for me to do is to carry on doing pretty much the same thing I’ve been doing for the last seven years – writing what I want to write and letting “the market” take care of itself.

As for self-publishing – I’m going to give it a go.  Aside from being accused of contributing to the downfall of the publishing industry, what’s the worst that could happen?

M Edward McNally discusses negative reviews with hilarious and enlightening results in his post Ed’s Casual Friday: Everyone is a (one) Star.  I haven’t had a lot of crushing reviews (mainly because I haven’t had a lot of reviews in general), but when it happens – and it will – I will refer back to this blog for solace.

Nerine Dorman talks  about collaborative writing projects and her love for immortal characters on Autumn Christian’s blog.

Suzanne Robb and A.J. Brown chat about LEGO, chocolate and horror writing, amongst other things.

I hear from a lot of people who are self-proclaimed book snobs (“you just can’t beat the smell and the feel of a print book”), but horror writer Armand Rosamilia has a tale to tell about how he has become a Kindle snob (and also how he likes to spend lots of time at home sans pants).

I can SOOOO relate to this one posted on The Bookshelf Muse (which is ironic, seeing as I’m writing a blog post to show how many other blogs I’ve read recently…).  How much social media promoting is too much?  How do you know when you have a problem?  And most importantly, how do you fix it? With thanks to Gwynplaine Lives, who put me onto it.

Suzanne Robb talks to Australian horror writer Matthew Tait, where he mentions his novella Slander Hall and piques my curiosity with references to his next big project, Davey Ribbon.

AJ Brown gets down to brass tacks and bloodied straps (that a sly little reference to his e-book collection Along The Splintered Path) in his interview on John Peters’ Dark Scribblings.

Mary Frisbee talks about her “Made It Moment” on Jenny Milchman’s blog “Suspend Your Disbelief” – and it’s not what you might think.

I love it when I learn something new.  I’d heard of steampunk, cyberpunk and splatterpunk, but candlepunk?  Dieselpunk? Mannerspunk?  Find out just how many “-punk” subgenres there are in Marsha A. Moore’s post on Fantasy Faction.

A brave, honest and exquisitely written guest blog from Autumn Christian on the Dark Continents blog.

I hope this one gets read far and wide – Nick Mamatas, giving advice to writers on what advice NOT to give to aspiring writers.

Dean M. Drinkel gets the Suzanne Robb treatment and talks about “The Rape of Emmanuelle”, aka “the story they tried to ban”.

First, a commentary on the recipes themselves.   The basic principle behind the Sneaky Chef is pureeing fruit and vegetables and sneaking them, sometimes along with extra protein and fibre also cunningly disguised, into traditionally tasty-but-unhealthy food.  The recipes I’ve tried so far range from “not worth the trouble” to “new family favourite”.  The Fearless “Fried” Chicken (it’s actually baked) fell into the former category.  Including the time spent making the orange puree, it took two hours to make and resulted in a net increase of vegetable consumption of about a tablespoon per person.  And this is my main criticism of most of the recipes – a hell of a lot of work for a tiny increase in vegetable intake.  Everyone happily ate the chicken, except for the youngest and most vegie-resistant member of the family, who wouldn’t touch it until she’d peeled off all of the crunchy coating (where the vegies were hiding).

I was dubious of the combination of pureed baby spinach and blueberries.  After inserting it into hamburger patties and French toast as instructed, I remained dubious, as did the rest of the family.  The pureed white beans in the mashed potato were a big hit, but that might have had something to do with the fact that I substituted sour cream and butter for the yoghurt and olive oil in the recipe.  Yes, I am a Bad Mother, feeding my family all those animal fats, and need to go flagellate myself.

My main problem about this book is the astounding level of sexism it contains.  I had to keep checking the publication date to make sure it had been first published in 2008 and not 1958.  Here are a few excerpts:

“When a man goes on a diet, he chooses protein; when a woman goes on a diet, she chooses vegetables.  I’m not necessarily saying that the woman adores alfalfa sprouts, but she will make the sacrifice for the goal of staying healthy and slim.”

Alfalfa Sprouts - The Ultimate Sacrifice

“Hiding broccoli in the meatballs, or spinach in the chilli, is just like putting on lipstick and high heels.  We’re simply dressing up the food to make it visually appealing to a man.  Once he ‘gets to know’ the disguised vegetable, he may be more willing to overlook her flaws and accept her for the substance she delivers.”

“When my male friend challenged me, “Why are you just addressing women? […]” I admitted that some men really do like to cook-but I still couldn’t imagine any of them taking the care and time to enhance our favourite dishes with carefully thought-out ingredients they know will contribute to our well-being.”

“Though I don’t want to encourage dishonesty or deceit in a marriage[…]the results of revelation can be counterproductive.  Just like kids, when men know they are eating something their minds tell them they don’t like, they may stop eating it-even if they genuinely enjoy it.”

Bah.  I should have known to judge the book by its cover.  That picture of the author, with her perfectly smooth skin and her perfectly straight teeth and her perfectly straight hair (can you tell I’m a little jealous?)…I bet she’s best friends with the women who wrote “The Rules.”  Never mind that my life resembles in many ways that of a 1950’s housewife, with my lipstick and high heels and 12 hours a week part-time employment “to get me out of the house” and my almost sole responsibility to all things relating to cooking, cleaning, shopping and childcare – it simply would not do to have such an offensive tome in my house where my young children might get hold of it and be influenced by its evil message.

Yet, I still have it.  I can’t quite bring myself to dispose of the thing because…well, I’m a hoarder, for one thing.  Especially of books.  Extra-specially of cookbooks.  And yes, I know…self-flagellation time.  As if the skin on my back isn’t bloody enough already, it turns out that the author of this book is infamous for attempting to sue Jerry Seinfeld and his wife Jessica.  Three times.   Her lawsuit and her subsequent appeal against Jessica Seinfeld for publishing her own cookbook using a similar premise failed, as did her lawsuit against Jerry Seinfeld for making fun of her on his TV show.  This is all old news, but I only found out about it today when I Googled the author (I’m too scared to mention her name in case she sues me).  So there’s one more round of self-whipping for living under a rock.

Only $99.99!

]]> http://traciemcbridewriter.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/the-sneaky-chef/feed/ 0 tracieleemcbride The Sneaky Chef Alfalfa Sprouts Self-flagellator http://traciemcbridewriter.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/read-this-blog-read-this-blog/ http://traciemcbridewriter.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/read-this-blog-read-this-blog/#comments Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:05:49 +0000 traciemcbride http://traciemcbridewriter.wordpress.com/?p=664 ]]>

I would pick now to start posting a blog round up, wouldn’t I…

This has been a crazy, mad-ass-busy week for me in the blogosphere.  The Darkness and Dismay authors have been merrily playing in each other’s sandpits, and there were so many interesting things being said in other blogs that I’m not quite sure where to start.

So I’ll just get on with it.  Here is my inaugural, highly subjective summary of the week’s Blogging Points of Interest.

Daniel I Russell invites AJ Brown to lie down on his couch and discuss his recent release “Along The Splintered Path” on his blog.

AJ Brown returns the favour by drawing a little (or is it a lot of?) blood from Daniel I Russell in his blog post Critiquing Daniel Russell. 

Suzanne Robb grills Andy Taylor in Welcome Andy Taylor, writer and LEGO cannibal (I can see these two becoming great mates – they share a sense of humour and fun that comes through in their stories.  If you enjoy the work of one, you’ll probably appreciate the work of the other just as much).

Suzanne Robb also gets busy on Bricks of the Dead, where she sparks off a lively discussion on creating a Zombie Manifesto.

Over in the The Café of Dreams, (‘cos it’s all really about me!  Me me me!) there’s the opportunity to win a signed paperback copy of Ghosts Can Bleed.

Australian author and self-publisher Patty Jensen tells aspiring self-publishers what they’re really getting in for, in a blunt and entertaining way (“There is no need to be snobby about ‘the publishing industry’. Unless you know a lot about it, and can demonstrate that knowledge, you’ll just end up looking like a dick.”)

In his post Amazon Select: my own reader’s guidelines, Glen Krisch outlines his moral code for downloading books made temporarily free through the Amazon Select Programme – and makes me feel a little guilty for my recent bout of gluttony (80 books waiting to be read on my Kindle, and probably half of them were downloaded for free…).